February 2012
13 posts
Reflections...
I felt so crippled by the inability to handle a certain situation. Why have I failed to seek to understand? Why have I failed to see it? I only see what I wanted to see instead of digging deeper.
& then I realized that it was partly my fault. Am I suited for this?
The thoughts are enough to make me go crazy....
Managing expectations
A conversation with a friend & my dearest bf made me realize that I am a perfectionist. Probably yes, probably no. IDK. I just know I need to let go of certain expectations & my emotions. I need to learn to care less about things around me & feel satisfied with the things I have.
The world against me
All I want to do is to get away from everything cos I give my all yet the outcome is so disapppointing.
What is there left of me to continue on this journey? I’m broken, drained from all the motivation I had when I first started it.
Riding the low
I am currently at my almost lowest point. Everything is awful, as though I worthless, useless & the list goes on & on. Damn it!
Cos it means more than any other things
I was still on the road to recovery from my sickness when an unexpected event happened and I am so emotionally affected that my temperature is going up again.
Still wondering if I shd get the same watch or live with the fact that it is gone for good & I shd wait long, long before I get myself a new desired watch. But then, even if I get the same thing, it is kind of meaningless. How...
Just one more to go...
Stomach flu the whole day was a big barrier for my practicum observation. I’m glad that at least it went well judging from the fact that I was sick & yesterday was an awfully bad day.
Somehow nowadays, I’m looking forward to going for my tuition class with my 16 p5 students. I guess my heart belong with the little kids. Lesson is much more interesting with them.
Hope
I just hope Monday wun be such a disappointment to me. I’m tired. Tired of all the crap revolving around me.
Some dreams
Some dreams are hard to achieve because it was never a priority.
January 2012
12 posts
Sleep these thoughts away
I always have the tendency to think too much & asking myself if I shdnt have done or shd have done certain things. Breathe in. Breathe out. Telling myself to stay calm & stop thinking about it. Am I in the right field?
Low self esteem mode on again...
I totally hate it when it happens. Negative thoughts please go away. I just need the right students to cheer or break my day tmrw. Let’s hope it is a positive one.
Keep on moving
The past few weeks have been the most tiring weeks eversince I first entered this school. Collation of students’ data, phone call to parents & primary schools, sharing sessions with teachers & working with students have occupied a lot of my time. Time passes by very fast when I am busy doing work. Alhamdulilah. Some of my students made me smile at the end of each day, no matter how...
Spending the whole night, thinking what you are doing. Hoping you are thinking of me too during your free time.
Did I even mention? TP is such a pain! Can’t wait to get it done & over with.
Detach
I need to learn how to detach myself from work because it can be really draining at times & I keep on thinking about it. That is definitely not good for my health.
Redha itu ikhlas, pasrah itu menyerah.
December 2011
21 posts
Just for my syg, Md Rusydi Bin Idris :)
Cinta aku hanyulah untukmu
Tak pernah goyah
Tak pernah jemu
Tak kan terpadam dalam hatiku
1 tag
Sometimes, I wish I can be a different person.
Sometimes, I wish I won’t prioritize a person so much that I would give up everything.
I just want to change because I know our beliefs are not the same.
Who says
You’ve got every right, to a beautiful life
C’mon
Who says, who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says that you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me, that’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful, who says
Who says you’re not star potential
Who says you’re not...
The man makes the brain - Fathiah Shamsuddin
Why is it when I plan something, it never happens right? I suck at it! I suck at it! Damnit!!!! #annoyed person
Today is the Friday that I have been looking forward to. Please don’t disappoint me cos this week almost marks my last week of enjoyment. I beg you. Please don’t disappoint me
The feeling of incompetent...
The feeling of incompetent is what makes me feel scared. Fear of failing to do it correctly.
Fear that I’ll be judged for the mistakes I’ve made.
Fear for not being so sure & certain of it.
But spending time with Sha & Fatin makes me see a clearer path of how I am going to plan my 2012.
I got through the previous practicum, better than I expected. Insyallah, this will be...
Why do I feel so down?
Why do I feel sad?
Why do I feel so insecure?
Why do I feel like I want to run away from everything?
& the negative thoughts just keeps on rolling in. Sssshhheesshhh. Telling myself to get to sleep & stop thinking. The feeling is so horrible but in the first place, why am I even feeling this way. Sighs*
Lucky are those who knows what they want to do in life at a young age. What are the use of good grades but one is indecisive & clueless of where to head to in life
Sighs. Time and again, I keep telling myself that this will lead me somewhere but who am I kidding. I know deep down, I always have this thought, ‘If only I could turn back time’.
I am wasting a lot of time &...
November 2011
14 posts
Hit the wrong button over & over again
I feel miserable. I’m struggling to function. I miss being myself when I was doing my prac. Though it started tough, I felt my accomplishment in the materials I produced, the feedback.
I’m stuck at counting down the days, asking myself if this is what I wanna do cos I keep hitting the wrong button, or it seems like. I feel that I’m not prepared for this. Hang in there, I keep...
